RUN AWAY
What’s the matter with the things I’m thinking
Nobody’s interested anyway
What’s the matter with the stuff I’m drinking
You’re getting fatter every day
You got a list of things to do
A bucket list before you’re dead
Next thing you know you’re all alone
With a ticking clock and a gun to your head
What’s the matter with the things I’m saying
Shouldn’t you get off of the stage?
What’s the matter with the games I’m playing
Shouldn’t you try and act your age?
Don’t listen to what they say anymore
You’ve got to run away before they kick in the door
What’s the matter with the things I’m thinking’?
I've had the chord structure of this thing rolling around in my head for the last 5 years. This song is incredibly personal. Depression is hard to describe to people, especially people who have never experienced it or significantly dealt with somebody who is suffering through it. I describe it like this:
Imagine you are living in a shitty apartment with people living above and below you. You are in bed, and you have to get up very early tomorrow morning for a very important job interview. The people above you are having a very loud, very vocal argument. It's like you are in the room with them, they are just that loud. The people below you are having a rager of a party. They are playing your least favorite song. On repeat. You lie there in bed. You try and pull the pillow over your head, but it doesn't matter. You can't get away from that damn song. You can't sleep. Just as you are starting to try and fall asleep, a cop stops somebody outside your window and the lights are now flashing in your room.
That's depression. You're tired, but you can't sleep because your head is constantly running all the things you are worried about on repeat. When that isn't happening, your head is giving you a running list of every stupid thing, every failed relationship, every failure you have ever experienced. THAT is depression.
This song is about that running voice in your head reminding you of your failures and telling that voice to fuck off. The lyrics are dark, but the music is almost defiantly optimistic.